“To Belong”

Touch my heart and feel the ice
Like a chill after a rain
As clouds cave the sun
It loves like a broken song
A beat skipped
A beat heavy
A beat long
But it loves mighty
It takes hold
Eyes like Eckleburg
Seeing meaning
Meaning strong
While broken it has measured
Moments good
Moments bad
Hear it in the silence
Steadfast but weary
Hopeful but sad
It loves like a broken song
A beat skipped
A beat heavy
A beat long

My heart wants to have peace
A piece of mind
A place to belong

“Real is Rare”

Be with someone who makes you a priority. Be with someone who isn’t afraid to show you off to the world because they are proud of you, proud to be with you, proud to be yours. Be with someone who gives you the time of day when you need it, especially at your worst because ‘if they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best, said Marilyn Monroe. Be with someone that will share their struggles with you and help carry your extra baggage. Be with someone who will open doors for you, but not just literal doors but figurative ones, too; maybe even windows of opportunities as well.┬áBe with someone who will feed you whether it be your stomach, your heart, your mind, or your body. Be with someone who is passionate and kind. Be with someone who shows and tells their appreciation for you every chance they get. Be with someone who is selfless, patient, righteous and understanding. Be with someone who can walk beside you, guide you and/or follow you. Be with someone who is your critic, your fan, your role model and/or inspiration, and your best friend. Be with someone with a good mind and a positive energy; they will give you light at your darkest moments and they will strengthen your spirits when you’re at your lowest. Be with someone who won’t compete with you, but treats you like an equal. Be with someone that gives you your wants and, most importantly, your needs. Be with someone who is the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of before you sleep. Be with someone you can explore new cities with and try new things with because they, like the life you both share, have become your adventure. Be with someone who looks at you and you can see the love in their eyes or their smile or in all of their body language. Be with someone you see yourself building a future with. Be with someone who ultimately makes you better but disagrees and tells you that it is really you that ultimately makes them better.

I wrote this quite a while back. Today, I was reading over old entries in my journals and it was one of the first things I opened up to. This may ring quite true for many. I guess we all look for that perfect thing but, in reality, we will realize when we come across something real how good that real thing is. You really, honestly, do feel it. A feeling as such is usually unexplainable, although most times we try to rationalize and make sense of it. It feels euphoric as fuck, excuse my language, but it’s true! When you come across this feeling with someone, you really can’t fight it. It’s real and real is rare. That’s become such a motto for me on more levels than one, but mainly to describe my relationships with people and to describe my own personality as an individual. That is who I am. I know am a unique individual with a big heart, never afraid to express it. So, I write shit like this and get really guppy and sappy over sweet things. The human nature to feel love and give love is so enlightening; sharing it with others is a profound experience to have in life. I hope that if you are reading this, you, too, may experience such wonderful feelings of joy and warmth.

“Fragments”

The hardest thing about relationships is taking all the wear and tear and finding it in all your heart, in all your passion and effort, to mend the broken pieces that you may or may not have caused. Trying to look past insecurities and bury them with a new found trust and love for someone is a bittersweet challenge. Running on a two-way street, the blame game is openly played and it’s as if you feel like you are always swimming upstream. But, it was never made to be easy and every couple, every relationship, goes through the hardest of times. But what happens when it doesn’t just end? What if it is always hard? How do you get through it? Where do you find the hope to keep loving as you do? To keep caring as much as you did in the beginning? To have faith where there is so much doubt in the back of your mind built by the tension of time? Forcing and forcing for something to be and getting lost in the complexity. Where do we go from here? I just want to love again.

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