Neither of us stared into each other’s eyes.
You gave up on me as I said I didn’t know what to smile for.
I could hear it in your voice; the last sighing bit of hope to try to turn my day around.
And I am sorry.
I am sorry for being difficult and emotional as I hurt. I am sorry for being quiet in the face of my own fears and insecurities. I am sorry for making you feel helpless, as helpless as my emotions make me feel.
The way I run in my mind in a day where I wake up restless and upset is very exhausting.
I have detered myself from a normalcy today and a day has gone to waste, I am sorry.
I am hard to bend and even harder to mend as my self-esteem breaks over an exchange of words in disagreement or a trigger of the past.
And now I lay here pondering how I will find the courage to apologize for my weaknesses.