Unraveling Hate & Coming Undone

I think it’s fair to say that I have had my fair share of grief in the last few days trying to cope with the utter shock of Donald Trump becoming our president-elect. In the last few days, I denied it, I was angry, I bargained, I was depressed; Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief did not entirely prepare me for this. As I come to the edge of my depression and sadness, I still cannot seem to fathom accepting that it will be okay to watch children grow in a country that is so divided, full of ignorance and hate.

I want to learn to accept, but I know it will take time.

As everyone is entitled to their opinion, these are very much my own and I hope that you may respect that…

I do not support Trump but I accept him.

I do not support him because he has offended me and many people of color, religion, and sex. How do I possibly support a president doesn’t think about what he says or does before he does it? How do I possibly support a president who has been such a bully to the people he vows to stand up for?

He has offended me as a woman because he, in his past and present, has belittled women with disgusting words and actions. I cannot look up to a president who pushes women’s self-esteem and integrity/dignity to a low standard, as well as casts a shadow on women’s rights. He has offended me as a Filipino immigrant for showing myself, others like me, and other people of beautiful races, cultures, and religions such disrespect and hate. I cannot look up to a president who decides to treat people as Hitler treated the Jews during the Holocaust believing it’s okay to single a peoples out for their differences.

I fear that he has given people, who fuel from hate and ignorance, the power to exercise terror and fear into others because he’s exemplified himself to them as a fearless role model; therefore, they mirror his very offensive words and actions unto others. Through Trump we have discovered prominent hate that has been hiding and coddled by individuals ready to burst into wildfires devouring what is left of grace and humanity. This is what I fear the most, the hate. Hate was once brewing idly and tongues were being bitten as a black man became president, as women went from housewives to business moguls, or as immigrants came flourishing from other countries and the U.S. accepted with open arms. Hate is no longer shy and it has come ready to hurt our hearts and our souls. Hate is here and it was just waiting to expose itself; it was time. I was ignorant to think that such hate did not exist anymore, when in fact, it never really left.

But, sigh, at the end of the day, I accept Trump. I may not accept everything that he stands for, but I give him the benefit of the doubt. It is only right. I may not like him, but he is the president-elect after all and I respectfully accept that he’s taking responsibility for this nation.

I must be patient and, somehow, find peace from my acceptance because with all the hate and hurt that is a result of the 2016 election, it is important to remind ourselves that we “cannot fight fire with fire”; thus, we cannot fight hate with hate. We must find it in ourselves, each and every one of us, to stand together may it be peaceful protests or in silent vigils of hope. We must not allow fear to consume us. If a Trump supporter screams at you to leave this country because you aren’t white, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and red-necked, turn the other cheek and know that mean words should not break you; take the high road. I hope that violence will not pursue the same  path as hate. We must be unified and smart, not wreckless and divided. We still have the power to make change in unity and peace; do not let others tell you otherwise.

For those of you in fear: my fellow women, my Muslim friends, my LGBT friends, my fellow immigrants – know that you have nothing to fear and you are not alone. I am behind you, others are behind you, and we are with you every step of the way.

Lastly, for all the people vouching to leave the United States to Canada, to Europe, or to a different country, I understand your pains and how difficulty it is for you to cope, but  I am not sure if you exclaiming your “move” is your fear talking or you being cowardly? To just leave a country you say you love so much, I can’t seem to understand why you won’t stay and fight for it with everyone else. You may not want to raise your children in these times and you may fear your own safety but remember you can’t always run from your problems. How will you support your others and things you believe in if you just go off to another country? Are you going to allow hate to win that way?

Wow, this has been such a rant and very overwhelming to re-read. But, I hope it reaches and touches others. I have had friends and family giving me wonderful advice and some of this was inspired by that; I hope to inspire others.

Believe that America is still great because there are still some very great human beings standing up for the nation. Believe that there is hope and that hate and division is not the answer.


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