Mending

And all he said was “I don’t know if we will be okay” and I broke. 

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What is this that I feel? 

I feel like I’ve loss some sense of security from the looming doubt you hold onto and it hurts like hell to think that you don’t see compatibility in us when we are in conflict but I’ll be honest…

I’d rather have these ups and downs now so that in our future we are strong and steady.

I have faith in that.

I firmly believe there’s a silver lining to all this.

I wish you’d see it, too.

They say compatibility is when things can exist and occur together without conflict. But, conflict happens in relationships. Not every compatible relationship is without it. So that’s just not a true definition of compatibility. Things may not seem normal, yes, but if I were to look at the bigger picture, I know this isn’t us and we’ve just been under a lot of stress lately. I am also not saying that when things get hard, we are not going to be able to handle things the right way – sometimes it just takes a lot of practice to get things right, compromise, and collaborate on exceptional relationships where both individuals have high standards for themselves and for one another.

This is not forced.

I am working hard for this because this matters so much and to prove to you that this is a real love, a love that can overcome challenges for the long run and that is unconditional.

I don’t love you “just because”.

On our many other given days, we are perfect.

You and I don’t want easy but we work hard to see that things do get easier and we feel more secure.

This is just one of those moments and this is just how I feel.

Relevant


That moment you realize how the knowledge you are learning in nursing school is applicable to your daily life.

I take this as a sign. 

Conflicts in my life can be resolved and I have a chance at optimizing my daily life and relationships. 

I am encouraged. 

I have faith. 

God knows when to put things right under my nose at the most crucial of  times and I am so grateful for His guidance. 

“Peak”

The purpose that belies your iridescence
Represents the candor of your faith.
Against every pull of gravity,
And against every pull of weight,
With bare hands,
You touch hands of Grace.

As fearlessness drives your will to strive,
A card dealt by demons sets you straight
To look into impatient eyes
And a heart that fails escape.

But, adversity to advantage you seek.
Weeping at the losses that pose you weak,
But only to set eyes on change
What once was a downfall
Has now become a peak.

More

Who am I without you but be a heart without purpose?

Before you, I knew not what security felt like.
Before you, I knew not what love looked like.
Before you, I knew not what real commitment was.

Now, I cannot love you less.

I see more than a 5 year plan.